Take a reader behind the wheel with the worst driver you’ve ever known.

 

ERRRRRR stop. We all lunge forward. Thank God for these seatbelts, or else we’d all tumble to the floor or go soaring through the windshield.

VROOOOOM go. We all slam back onto our seats. If we didn’t know what whiplash felt like before, now we have a good idea.

ERRRRRR stop. VROOOOOM go.

She’s not drunk. She’s not high. This is just the way she drives. Her family is from Manhattan, so I guess slamming on the breaks feels natural to her.

Oh yeah, we complain about it all the time, but she doesn’t know any better. Like I said, this is just the way she drives. We put up with it because she’s the oldest in our crew and the only one with a car. If it wasn’t for her, we’d all be stuck in the house, or swappin’ sweat next to dudes with smelly armpits on the bus. I mean, she’s almost killed us lots of times, but we’ve never actually been in an accident. She’s crazy, but quick. All you have to do is fasten your seatbelt, close your eyes, and ho—

WHOA Jesus. Oh my God that was close.

She just made a left turn in front of oncoming traffic. I think my life just flashed before me.

Pray for us.